


Waking Up

by Dezasaurus_Rex



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, M/M, Nightmares, Paranoia, Past Abuse, Survivor Guilt, post phase 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 16:37:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12136617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dezasaurus_Rex/pseuds/Dezasaurus_Rex
Summary: Murdoc has nightmares about Plastic Beach too, believe it or not...





	Waking Up

Murdoc jolted awake, a cold sweat enveloping him, his heart and mind both racing.

He could still hear it... the ghostly song resonated in his bones. The horrible screech of bending and breaking metal. The heavy rumble that shook him to his core as the whale ripped into his precious island... 

His plastic paradise.

But that wasn't what had sent fear and desperation slicing through him, wasn't the cause of the sweat and tears on his face.

In some kind of weird, dream logic, he had seen it this time... The moment the whales jaws had closed around his singer. 2D hadn't even tried to run away; though Murdoc screamed for him to move, had reached out, like he could have pulled the younger man to safety... but the man had just stood there, his black eyes burning with a silent accusation.

He wouldn't be coming back this time. And it was all Murdocs fault...

Murdoc couldn't catch his breath, couldn't slow his panicked thoughts... couldn't be sure it was just a nightmare... He practically threw himself out of his bed; to the room at the end of the hall. His hand hovered over the doorknob, while his heart beat erratically in his throat. Fear cloaked him like a shroud. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore, he had to know, had to see for himself. He opened the door, just a crack; the streetlight outside cast an orange glow across the room, just enough light for him to see 2D's sleeping form, mostly just a lump under a blanket. Murdoc moved silently across the room, not really giving it any thought when he, carefully, lay down beside his sleeping band mate.

He tried not to think at all, in fact, as he lay there, listening to 2D breathing steadily beside him.

Tried not to think about his singer in the belly of that wretched whale... Tried not to think about how he had been the one to put him there...

Tried not to let the guilt swallow him whole.

Just when he thought his heart was finally going to give out on him, 2D rolled over in his sleep, his arm falling across Murdocs torso. Murdoc held his breath, terrified that the blue haired man would wake up and find him there, mid panic attack, in his bed. But when 2D just curled closer and buried his face in Murdocs hair... Well, Murdoc was a downright bastard, but even he wasn't low enough to wake a sleeping angel. He decided he'd just lay there until 2D rolled back to his original position, and then he'd sneak out, go back to his room to wait for sunrise, and no one would ever have to know about any of this. 

It was the perfect plan.

Just a few hours later, 2D woke up to sunlight warming his face. He sighed softly, trying not to disturb the sleeping form he held in his arms.

It took him longer than he'd like to admit to realize that there shouldn't be another body in his bed... He cracked one eye open and glanced down at the face pressed into his chest. His heart almost stopped as he realized who he was holding; who was holding him in return...

Murdoc???  
Why was Murdoc in his bed?  
In his arms??  
When had this happened?  
How many pills had he taken last night?!

2D took a steady breath and attempted to calm himself. He looked back down at Murdocs sleeping face; he looked so peaceful... like he was sleeping soundly for the first time in years...

For all 2D knew, he probably was. 

He didn't know what had brought the man to his bed, but he was almost sure that he hadn't meant to be here when 2D woke up.  
He decided he'd let the old goth sleep for as long as he needed to, and when he woke up, 2D would just pretend to be asleep. That way, if Murdoc felt the need to sneak out, he could do so. 

Foolproof.

A short time later, Murdoc woke to the sun warming his back and the scent of butterscotch filling his nose. He inhaled deeply, practically melting into the body beside him. He rolled onto his back, enjoying the heat of the sun on his skin. His eyes flew open as the previous night came back to him.

He'd fallen asleep!

Murdoc shot a panicked look towards 2D, but noted, with immense relief, that his singer was still sleeping soundly. He all but sprinted out of the room, back to his own. He collapsed on his bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to ignore the scent of butterscotch that clung to his skin. 

Murdoc spent most of the day in his recording studio in the basement, chain smoking and talking to no one, really. He was messing around with some of his old vinyl records when he heard 2D come home from work; heard the phantom song of the whale following close behind him. 

Murdoc turned up his music to try and drown it out.

Later that evening, back in his own room, Murdocs anxiety and paranoia were threatening to tear him apart. He could feel the nightmare at the edges of his thoughts; 2D's accusing glare reflected back at him from every shadow that spread across his room as the sun sank lower in the sky. He lay on his back, starting at the ceiling, and listened to the sounds of his band mates moving around the small flat. Or, in Russell's case, on top of it.

Around midnight, Murdoc heard 2D wish Noodle and Russle a good night and sweet dreams. He pretended he didn't feel his stomach twist with anxiety at the word 'dreams'. Murdoc focused on breathing and staring for a while, then moved on to pacing and chewing through at least two nails. 

He spent a good hour and a half, trying and failing to fall asleep in his own bed, before he finally got up and crept down the hall, once again. 

Murdoc hesitated at the door; what if 2D was still awake? What if he's not there at all? What if these past few months, since they found each other again, had all been some sick hallucination, brought on by a mind consumed with grief and guilt? Panic surged through him, making him nauseous. He dragged in a heavy breath, knowing that there was only one way to find out.

He eased the door open slowly, and almost fell to his knees as relief swept through him. His singer was there, asleep in his bed. Right where he should be. Murdoc retraced his steps from the night before, and lay down on the side of the bed left vacant by the sleeping man.

For a while he just lay there, staring at 2D's back, his mind buzzing. He had so many things he wanted to say to him; his black-eyed angel... Murdocs throat was tight with emotion, his heart felt like it was clenched in an iron vice, "I'm so sorry...", was all he managed to whisper before he broke, sobs wracking his body.

2D, who had been pretending to sleep, lost all his resolve and he turned, cupping the side of Murdocs face in one large hand, wiping the tears off his cheek with his thumb, "Shh, Muds, shhhh... it's okay..." He attempted to calm him, "I forgive ya, Murdoc, of course I do..." 

They lay there for a while, 2D having pulled Murdoc close to his chest, stroking down his back and pressing soft kisses to his hair, as Murdoc calmed, stilled, and eventually, drifted to sleep. 2D buried his nose in the hair at the top of Murdocs head, inhaling deeply and making a mental note to have a conversation with the sleeping man tomorrow. He closed his eyes and followed his bassist into unconsciousness.

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first time, be gentle!  
> No, but really, any and all feedback is appreciated, as long as it's actually constructive.
> 
> Hope you all like my angsty writing! Maybe there will even be more in the future lol


End file.
